“Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
Genesis 18:18-19
In the beginning, God gave men the responsibility of leadership in the family, in the faith, and in society in general. In the Old Testament the Bible clearly states that man was created first in the form of Adam, and that Eve was made as a helper to him (Genesis 2:18). In the New Testament men are given the responsibility to be heads of their families and are to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:23). So in God’s hierarchy of responsibility, men are placed in a position of leadership and therefore it is essential that they be trained to be spiritual leaders. It is the responsibility of fathers to disciple their children and so the church must be involved in the discipleship of men so they are equipped and supported for that task. Many men are absent from the church because they often see their primary responsibility as work in order to provide for their family. But spiritual leadership is far more important. Consequently, the church must disciple men so that they can become the spiritual leaders God has called them to be.
Men have 3 basic roles in God’s plan. First, they are called to be leaders in their families. In Ephesians 5:23, Paul writesthat “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.” Similarly, men are also called to be leaders in their church, their nation and the world (Genesis 2:18). Second, men are called to be providers and to work to support their families. Genesis 3:17 says, “To Adam he said, because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘you must not eat of it’, cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.” Third, men are called to be teachers and to pass on knowledge and the faith. As Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Because of these callings from God, the discipleship of men is critical for the Christian faith, as well as the Church. First of all, we know that Satan attacks leaders. “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8). Satan knows that if you thwart the man, you thwart the church and also the family. Secondly, men are role models for children. “Jesus said to his disciples: Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause any one of these little ones to sin.” (Luke 17:1-2) Children look to men and fathers for behavioral examples. As a result, men have influence beyond their words. And thirdly, men are role models for society. “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” (1 Timothy 4:16) Men look to society’s leaders to see how to behave or act. But it is also true that what society permits is often more dangerous than what the law permits. So men must also know God’s Word!
There are 3 key obstacles and challenges to reaching men. First, most men are independent. They like to be in control and want to make their own choices. They also want to solve problems by themselves and don’t like to ask for help. Second, men are career and work oriented. They get their self-worth and their identity from their jobs and their job often defines who they are. Consequently, if they lose their job, they often lose their identity. Men also see their primary function as family providers and work is the way they earn income for food and shelter. Third, men face several key temptations. “No temptation has seized you except that which is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13) These temptations includesex (physical gratification), money (provider gratification), and power (control gratification).
Here are 5 strategies for men’s discipleship:
- Create a connection – it can be social (common interests), faith, sports, or business related (career or work)
- Teach Scriptural authority – Man’s calling and purpose (“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” – Matthew 6:24)
- Develop ongoing opportunities – monthly meetings, retreats, Bible studies, men’s conferences, sports, missions, or social events.
- Reach Men Individually – Use personal invitations. Men often don’t respond to general invitations. Consider mentoring other men.
- Create events that focus on topics relevant to men’s interests or struggles – These may include career, family, faith, success, or overcoming temptations.
The discipleship of men is an important role for pastors and church leaders if we are to raise up leaders for the church and in the family. This will not only grow the church, but will also ensure the passing on of the Christian faith to future generations.
(From Chapter 7 in our Discipleship for Church Leaders™ Training Manual, ©2015.)