Love – What Does it Mean?

“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”

1 John 4:16

Valentine’s Day is coming up in another week and so it seems appropriate to talk about love this month. There has been a lot written about love over the years, including books, songs, movies and television shows. There was the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by Dr. John Gray, the top selling book on love and relationships of all time. Then there’s the song All You Need is Love by the Beatles. What about the movie Love Story which gave us the tag line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”. And of course, there were television shows like the Love Boat that promised “something for everyone.”

Love can be either a noun or a verb, but I want to focus on love as a verb, an action, something that we feel, express, or do for other people. That includes feeling love for other people, saying I love you to someone, or doing something loving toward another person.

The dictionary provides several definitions for love as a verb. But the primary definition is to cherish, or to hold dear. This is the definition that best fits what I want to talk about. The other definitions are related to feeling passion towards someone (romantic), taking pleasure in something (eating, etc.), or thriving in something you do (work for example).

The New Testament was written in Koine Greek (Ancient Greek) and the Greek language has four words for love. They are Eros, for passion; Agape, for unconditional, selfless love towards others; Philia for brotherly affection; and Storge, for love of family. The Greek word Eros is not used at all in the New Testament, and the Greek word Agape is the one most frequently used in the New Testament.

In the New Testament, Jesus most often uses the word Agape for love, the unconditional and selfless love that we should show to strangers, the poor and helpless, and even our enemies. In 1 John 4:16 above, the Greek word the Bible is using for “God is love” is Agape and represents his unconditional and sacrificial love for all humans.

In our English-speaking nation today, however, people use the word love quite often and for lots of different things. It’s used to refer to our spouses, our families, our friends, our pets, our homes, our entertainment, what we eat, where we go, what we do, and what we individually value. So, it often depends upon the context in which the word is used to determine its actual meaning. Most often people use the word love to mean either passion for or taking pleasure in, love for friends, or love for family (eros, philia and storge). But rarely do people refer to the agape form of love.

Agape love is the highest form of love and can only be expressed through actions and what we actually do. In other words, we can’t say I agape (love) you, we have to show it in our actions. And those actions usually involve humility, sacrifice and selflessness, and are frequently done in secret. Otherwise, they would only be a self-seeking love that glorifies us instead of God. Agape love is the kind of love that God requires of us, because that’s the kind of love He showed us. “We love, because God first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

So, what’s the importance of knowing which meaning is being used for the word love? I think it helps us to see the difference between what our world thinks and what God thinks.

Our world often only thinks of love in terms of passions, pleasures, and selfish desires. When the world loves, it is usually talking about what they love that gives them pleasure or benefit. In other words, what is in their own self-interest, whether its recognition, receiving love, or getting something else back in return. 

However, when God speaks of love, He is calling us to be selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial towards others. When God says we should love others, we get nothing in return other than knowing that God is pleased, and He alone is glorified. This difference is important and what should distinguish Christians from non-believers.

Of course, Christians can also love and enjoy our spouses, family, and friends. We can also love other earthly pleasures because God provides them to everyone for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17). But we must also love our enemies, those that persecute us, and those that hate us because God still loved us when we did not love Him. We cannot love God if we hate others, refuse to forgive them, or refuse to help them when they are in need (1 John 4:20). Agape love is the kind of love that God requires us to demonstrate to others as followers of Jesus and is the kind of love that will draw others to Christ as well!

So, what does love mean? For a follower of Christ, it’s agape love – the selfless, humble, and sacrificial love for others!

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8)