“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.”
Matthew 5:9
Every church or ministry leader should know that conflict is inevitable in any organization. It is even more likely in the church, because the church is about people, and whenever there are people there will be conflict. Since Jesus calls us to be peacemakers, church leaders should be prepared for it and have a Biblical way of dealing with it. So learning how to manage conflict is important for every church leader because it exists in the church, causes problems and divisions, and often results in ministry stagnation. Confronting and dealing with conflict effectively will enable a church to move forward.
There are also sources, reasons and causes for conflict, and leaders must understand the difference.
Sources of conflict are related to the different people groups in a church. They arise between individual church members, between the pastor and church members, between generations, between genders, and between ministries. In many churches people group together according to their preferences, interests or abilities. Some examples include worship style, home fellowship groups, children’s ministry, or choirs. They are like special interest groups whose participants have a greater concern about their particular part of the church ministry. When special interests collide, there is conflict.
Reasons for conflict are related to the actions or in-actions of a church. They arise when there is no vision or goals being pursued, there is no strategic plan in place, there is inadequate discipleship, there is poor communication, or when the church does not deal with problems. In other words, poor leadership. When the people are not sure of what the church is trying to do then they will generally decide for themselves what is best, and hence conflict will ensue. As it is stated in Judges 21:25, “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.”
Causes of conflict are related to spiritual forces that are at work (Ephesians 6:12). There are 3 underlying causes for most conflict: Satan, our sinful nature, and our sinful world. The Bible teaches us in 1 Peter 5:8 that “the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” That’s Satan at work trying to cause us to sin or pit us against each other. In Galatians 5:17 Paul writes that “the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit.” Our own humanness is always working against us and against God’s will. And finally, the Bible says in 1 John 2:16 that “everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes, and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world.” So the world in which we live is corrupt and always trying to corrupt us and lead us away from God. As a result, these 3 causes drive most every conflict. So we must be careful not to hate those whom we are in conflict with, but rather to recognize the underlying cause and to hate it instead. “Hate what is evil, cling to what is good.” (Romans 12:9)
Most conflict is obvious, such as emotional outbursts, written complaints, or gossip. When a leader sees them they can deal with them. But some conflict is not so obvious, like withdrawal from church activities, project delays, or no communication. Leaders must be mindful of these and often explore them for their hidden conflicts so they can be dealt with as well.
How are we to resolve conflict? Fortunately, Jesus gives us the answer in Matthew 18:15-17 where he outlines a process for dealing with conflict and sin between people. It is based on repentance and forgiveness. Jesus also says in Luke 6:42 that we are to “first take the plank out of our eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” So first, we go to the person and try to resolve it between us by first repenting of our sin and asking forgiveness. If there is no repentance or forgiveness from the other person, then we are to gather 2-3 witnesses and try again. And if that does not work, we are to take the issue before the entire church. Church leaders are also sometimes called in to mediate a conflict. In that case, it is important for the leader to get all the facts, to encourage both sides to repent and forgive the other, and to follow the process that Jesus has outlined.
The key to resolving conflict, therefore, is found in humility and forgiveness. Both of these are very powerful spiritual tools that when used can overcome Satan, our sinful nature, and the sinful world, and lead to peace. But remember, we are only responsible for our own actions. We cannot force others to forgive nor can we change their hearts or attitudes. Only God can do that.
So let us all seek to be peacemakers through our spiritual actions of humility and forgiveness!